Friday, December 28, 2007


The last couple of nights have been horrible for sleeping. I don't know what is with the babies and why they want to be with me 24 hours a day, but its unhealthy, its not normal and it ain't happening.

By now, I'm really comfortable admitting that I don't want to be with my kids, or anyone else for that matter, 24 hours a day - 7 days a week. It is good to have alone time to just meditate, relax, get something done, or sleep. Especially sleep. Lately if someone gets up at night and won't go back to sleep, I just take them in bed with me and lay them on my chest and they relax and go to sleep. Sometimes I can go back to sleep, but normally someones hair is tickling me or they do that jerking thing in their sleep which wakes me up. The last couple of nights my baby boys have been waking up at night, without fevers, with their NUKs and or/ diaper rags, and still have been crying. I'll rock them or change their diapers or give them something to drink, but they just want to be with me.

So last night after rocking both boys at the same time until 11 p.m., I had reached THAT point. They were going to cry until they fell asleep. (Now, I normally do let them fall asleep on their own and cry until they go to sleep, but not for hours on end) I went to bed and covered my head with the covers. It got kind of hot, but then the cries were muffled, so I made room by my nose so I got some fresh air and slept. I had to get up a few times during the night when I thought Brooke was crying. I heard both John and Matthew (mostly John) crying a lot last night.

So much to my surprise this morning when I got up... I looked at the clock it was 9:17 a.m. and my kids were in the living room with Mark and Luann who was nice enough to start getting them ready for the day. Scott usually leaves for work around 8 a.m. on Fridays and Mark and Luann come over usually around 8:30.

What I realized was that I had slept so soundly that anyone could have come in and taken the babies and I wouldn't have known. Cosmo, the watch cat, was probably sunning herself in the lower level and didn't come to greet them. I was feeling pretty bad about thinking that I may have just ignored their cries this morning until I talked to Scott. Scott got up this morning to Brooke SCREAMING. She had gotten herself sideways in the crib, both hands and feet caught in the slats of the crib. He "uncaught" her and gave her a NUK and she went back to sleep. He left at 8 a.m. and had heard nothing from any of the babies. Luann came shortly later, heard the silence in our house and figured we were sleeping. She and Mark came back later and then got the kids up and let me sleep. I SO appreciate that. I needed the sleep.

Mark and Luann come over Friday mornings. Mark is the only man besides daddy and the Grandpas that Brooke will sit by. She screams when other men get near her. Uncle Jim likes to tease her and pick her up or touch her just so she cries. He thinks when he teases his nieces and nephews, he's assuring future visitors to his nursing home when hes old. I'm sure that my kids will come and take away his cane and hide the remote... just for old times.

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