Saturday, October 30, 2010
Dear future wives of my sons:
I want you to know that I am doing everything in my power to raise kind, compassionate leaders of the world. I will teach them to be humble, to open doors, to clean the dishes off the table, to pick up their rooms. But most importantly, they will be set apart from other young men. Because they will always pee sitting down. Under NO circumstances in my house are they allowed to stand and pee because it creates a mess and I AM SICK OF CLEANING IT UP. If I could catch one of the buggers at it, I'd make them clean it up. If I fail you in this mission, I can assure you of one thing. They will know how to clean a bathroom until it sparkles, because since I can't push their face in it like dogs, I will make them take Q-tips and clean the damn bathroom.
Your loving future-mother-in-law,