A canvassing fantasy

This may contain language, bias and opinion that is not suitable for all ages.


So, I'm minding my own business in my own kitchen when I see two young men walk up to the door at 7:41 p.m. You know, the time I'm getting my children ready for bed?
I keep cleaning up, waiting to hear the doorbell, but I never hear it. So I walk to the door and walk out into the entrance and open the door.

Two kids, with bad haircuts, short-sleeves and too short ties, with name tags are on my doorstep. The one on the my left speaks. "I'm so and so and I'm here to spread the message from the church of Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints." And he's about to go on. Before he starts his, "Find Jesus" speech, I interrupt.

I ask them, "Do you know what time it is?" "Does your father have multiple wives?" "Are you brothers?" Which of course left them speechless and slack jawed. And then I closed the door and resumed putting my kids to bed.

Now the last paragraph was what I WANTED to say. What I really said was, "Thank you, but I already have a church." And then the one on the left asked, "Which church is it?" And my thought was, "Do you think I'm lying to you?" And I answered, "St. Peter Lutheran."

And THEN I went to my computer and printed off a "NO SOLICITING!" sign and put it on the front door. I think I may have one made from Uppercase Living. That's how serious I am about this.