Its a hard job!

Sigh, double sigh. Since this summer, I've been battling with Jacob. He likes to argue with me. He contradicts almost everything I say. Even something as simple as "Jacob, go put your coat on." And he will stomp off or shout "NO!". He tells me he doesn't have to listen to me, he tells me I'm not the boss. He does recognize that Scott is the boss around the house. But the problem is that Scott isn't here 24/7.

I think some things are inherited, genetic. But how does he pick up the WELS belief from little on that fathers should be the head of the household and mothers are secondary?

I am not enjoying being his mother. I didn't expect us to have these battle of wills so early. I really feel disconnected with him. I don't feel like he's my buddy right now. And I'm guessing that he isn't going to be voting me for mother of the year. He has said a couple of times after these fights that no one loves him or no one likes him. I have explained to him that it is because I love him so much that I expect him to follow our rules. I gave him the example of God giving Moses the Ten Commandments to give to the Israelites.

He has also been giving Scott some attitude too. So, I feel better that its not just me, but I do wish he just realize he's got to be respectful and follow our rules.

I've done the Magic 1,2,3 thing, I've sent him to his room repeatedly, I have washed his mouth out with soap, I've taken away privileges, and now I told him that I would be taking away Christmas presents.

The other downside of this attitude is how he acts towards his siblings. He yells at them, is not patient with them and very bossy.

I know God will give me guidance through this, but I am really losing my patience.

Prayer

Did you ever see someone spiralling downwards and felt helpless? There are some people close to me that I see getting farther and farther away from God and it really hurts me. I've reached out a bit, put in my two cents and prayed. I don't want to be that pushy person that keeps throwing Jesus at them at every turn. I don't know if their hearts are open to Christ and I don't want to alienate them.

But I want them to know that they are loved. I want them to know that it hurts me to see them going down this path of sinfulness. This blatant disregard for God's commandments to fit in with their friends? because they don't feel like life is fair? because its easier?

We have this awesome God who knows we are sinful creatures and that as hard as we try, we cannot keep his commandments. He sent His son to die on the cross for our sins. What grace we have been given.

It may be uncomfortable to talk about, its hard to find the right words, but its necessary. I think we have all become numb to these sins. We see them on TV, in the movies, in magazines and books, they are in our environment.

I hope that my friends or family would reach out to me if I was not living in accordance with God's commands.

I have realized how important church is to me, how supportive my Christian friends can be, what a tool the Bible is, and how wonderful prayer can make me feel.

I pray that God continues to mold me into the person He wants me to be so that I can model that behavior to others.

Matthew 5:16
In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Psalm 27

Of David.

1The Lord is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?
2When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh,a
when my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
3Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will I be confident
4One thing I ask of the Lord,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to seek him in his temple.
5For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.
6Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the Lord.

Please pray for those in your life that need to open their hearts to God.

Heavens on Fire

Did you ever hear a song and have a picture pop into your head? I was in the car - without my IPOD - listening to the radio and Heavens on Fire by Kiss came on. Immediately I saw some poor fellow in the elevator on his way down to hell. Didn't repent before he died and was thinking that this elevator with red lights, chrome interior wasn't so bad. Tapping his foot to the music, he starts to sing, "Baby don't stop, take it to the top, eat it like a piece of cake. Feel my heat, taking you higher, burn with me, heavens on fire!"

He pictures orgies and other dark images and when the doors open he is blasted with ... not sure. Haven't come up with the perfect song to describe hell. I'm thinking Fade to Black or One by Metallica. (Of course I couldn't resist a Metallica plug) How can one describe something that is so utterly and horrible miserable? Probably a country song. I'll post it when I hear it though.

My Pet PEE(ve).

Dear future wives of my sons:

I want you to know that I am doing everything in my power to raise kind, compassionate leaders of the world. I will teach them to be humble, to open doors, to clean the dishes off the table, to pick up their rooms. But most importantly, they will be set apart from other young men. Because they will always pee sitting down. Under NO circumstances in my house are they allowed to stand and pee because it creates a mess and I AM SICK OF CLEANING IT UP. If I could catch one of the buggers at it, I'd make them clean it up. If I fail you in this mission, I can assure you of one thing. They will know how to clean a bathroom until it sparkles, because since I can't push their face in it like dogs, I will make them take Q-tips and clean the damn bathroom.

Your loving future-mother-in-law,

Jean

My Mission Statement

What??? Two posts in one day? Crazy!
"I got something to say, I r*ped your mother today, doesn't matter much to me as long as ..." (Had to though with a Metallica quote).

And totally unrelated to that is that I've been thinking about writing a mission statement. That I can live by, that defines who I am and who I want to be. Then, in a sermon, Pastor Ski from www.gotocore.com stole my thunder when he said he wrote his own personal mission statement about his faith and God. O.K. he probably prompted me to get my butt in gear and get 'er dun. (Bad grammar a part of the story)

My Mission Statement.

Let God's light within me shine.

By leading from example, helping others, living by the Golden Rule*.

As a parent I will raise nurturing, loving and independent children who will pay it forward.

As a spouse I will be loving and supportive.

Thats all I got so far. I want it to be simple and to the point. But I can get kinda long-winded, so I may just be done.

If you are reading this blog, write your own mission statement! If you feel bold, share it, if its more personal, keep it to yourself, but just live by it.

* Treat others as you would like to be treated

A dirty word...

Sometimes I use the word Triplets when talking about my kids, but I feel uncomfortable using that word. Even after almost 5 years of saying it. I'll say babies (which I've been told I shouldn't say anymore), the little ones, the little kids, the preschoolers, the monkeys, anything but the word Triplets.

I feel like when I say "triplets" I'm bragging or drawing attention to myself or them. Because that word turns heads. Its saying I won the lottery, in a family sense. It also labels them. Groups them into whatever stereotype people put on triplets or multiples.

Sometimes I still feel shocked. I'll be doing something, look at them, and say to myself, "I have triplets!" Holy baloney Batman! God sure knows what he's doing and we're not supposed to question him... but triplets? for me? What a gift. I am humbled.

Preschool

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Another Chapter

I'm reminded of a song by Staind called, "Its been awhile" or at least those are part of the lyrics.

I've been lazy, I kept procastinating. Things happened and I thought, I should blog this, but I'll just put it on Facebook.

Tomorrow is a big day. The triplets start preschool. I have been waiting for this day, probably since the week we brought them home from the hospital. They need the structure, they need the interaction, they need to learn to listen, to play well with others, to go to the bathroom on their own. I need the two hour break just to be a better mom. And the biggest plus is that I can run errands on my own without having to ask family or friends to watch them. Even though I know they love them, I always feel like I'm asking a favor, or I'm inconveniencing them.

I've been dreading this day too because it means I'm not just a stay-at-home mom with little children, I'm an in-betweener. I've got all my kids in school, but not full-time. It means I run back and forth to school several times a day to drop off, pick up, and pick up again. It means I get four backbacks ready each day. I have to make sure that everyone eats before they get to school because we can't just come home and eat breakfast later. Shoes need to match, or at least be on the right feet. Books need to be read, folders need to be checked, all times four.

While I've fantasized about this day for quite awhile, I've also repressed the memories of dropping Jacob of for preschool. Its a time you can never get back, them being at home with you all day. It means that happy hour really does start after 3 p.m. and not anytime you feel like it.

February blues

Dear Diary,

I've neglected you. I don't seem to ever have time for you anymore. Its Facebook. Its addicting. And I can easily remember how to sign on whereas I keep forgetting my username on blogger. I'm not blaming you, well, actually I am.

I just keep clicking my heels, saying to myself, "there's no place like summer, there's no place like summer..." But actually we could compromise and just have Spring.

I took the kids outside today and while it took 15 minutes to go to the bathroom, get snowpants, snowboots, hats, mittens and coats on, it took only five minutes of Brooke getting a facewash to end her day. Then Matthew kept wandering in the house looking for constuction toys to bring outside. And I kept yelling at him because I didn't want snow and dirty snow all over the house. But the boys did have a blast outside, although I thought they'd go go bed without a fight. But they didn't.

Speaking of that, bedtime is a nightmare. I've never had a problem with the kids going to bed. Sure, there are a couple of days in a row that they mess around and don't fall asleep. But then they go back to going to bed and falling asleep soon after.

For the past three to four weeks, Matthew and John have resisted bedtime. I could put them to bed later, but I think they really need the rest. O.K. I really need the rest from them. But at 7 p.m. or 7:30 p.m. without naps, its time for bed. Matthew and John want to sleep in the bottom bunk bed. For a few nights I've allowed them to sleep together, but they disturb each others sleep.
Tonight I took away Johns blankets after he threw them and he got a few spankings because he'd be running around the room, upstairs, bugging matthew, turning lights on and off and just being loud. Matthew is a follower, so he just get riled up then. I finally scared Matthew enough that he'd stay in bed and luckily Scott came home to yell at John, or he probably would have been tied to a chair.