Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Crucial Spongebob life lessons

Its been so long since I last posted that I even forgot my log-in. Wow. Either I'm getting old or I'm really busy. I'll vote for the latter.

Lets see, Jacob finished school last Friday. It was bittersweet as I was happy to not have to get up to bring him to school. His report card came today and he did pass Kindergarten and will be in 1st grade next year. Its shocking to me that I have a 1st grader. Where did all this time go?

A lot of weird things have been happening lately. The kind of weird that you think there are hidden cameras around and Ashton Kutcher will be popping out from behind a tree weird.

A couple of weeks ago I went out for a walk at 10 p.m. A neighbor a couple of houses down was out cutting her lawn. In the dark. At night. When people are sleeping. In the pitch dark. So I shook my head as I was out for my walk thinking how I'd be ticked if I was the next-door neighbor trying to sleep. Last week as I was out with my daycare passel she screeches to a halt in front of my house and she tells me shes beeing stalked. She goes on about how her 25 year marriage went to hell when her husband met someone else out-of-town and then she finally got back in the dating game on Craigslist. This nice fellow she met on Craigslist was abusive and she said she got a restraining order on the guy, but then she said something about him getting a restraining order against her. Babble, babble, babble, head nod, head nod...

And when I could get a word or two in I told her to call the police and have extra patrol in the area. Apparently since she knew Scott was a copper she must have wanted him to sleep on her couch. She should have looked for someone on Craigslist to help her with her stalker.

Craigslist. Com'on!

Speaking of cops. On Scott's birthday we (my dad, Scott's mom, Scott and I) head up to the casino and we're on HWY 29 cruising along in the good ol' mini van. When suddenly lights appear behind us and Scott is being pulled over. Now, he was talking with my father, but he had set the cruise around 72ish and the speed limit was 65. The state trooper came up to the window and yadda, yadda, yadda, said he was giving him a warning. Now, he didn't know Scott was a cop because it wouldn't have come back if he checked the license plate and Scott didn't tell him. The only thing that saved him from a court date in Shawno County was the "Got Triplets" sticker on the back of the van. I could tell he was peering in the back just dying for a look at the freak show. But it was just me and my MIL.

And FYI, this is the second time Scott has been pulled over on his birthday and I've been with him in the car. I have not been pulled over in about 8-9 years (knock on wood). But I did have a pretty good streak going there for a bit.

Lately my kids have been obsessed with Spongebob. I had TIVO'd the SpongeBob movie and actually never really watched the whole thing because I do other things while their eyes are glued to the TV. Why is a TV called a BoobTube? I don't get it? Why do people have bumper stickers that say WALL DRUG? Another mystery. I digress...

So John has been saying, "Stupid Kid!" Its very clear and I'm impressed with his enunciation, but I have been upset at him saying "Stupid" because we don't say stupid in this house. Its not nice and its not kind. So I'll tell him what I just told you and he still says it. Go figure. So as I'm watching the end of SpongeBob, Plankton calls SpongeBob - yep, you guessed it! "Stupid Kid!" A couple of different times. Great.
Then Jacob also says or yells, "I'm SO the boss of you!" To the triplets a lot. Then I saw the episode when SpongeBob wants to bathe Gary, his pet Snail, and I heard that line several times too.

This is why people don't let their kids watch SpongeBob. These same people don't even buy the SpongeBob fruit snacks when they shop.

And maybe tomorrow or the next day I'll tell you about Johns antics and how he's going to get himself put in toddler jail.

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