A balancing act

Its been a very long, long day. And an even longer week.

John has worn me down. I'm reading James Dobson's The New Strong Willed Child. Its really good. A couple of things that I've gotten out of the book are that if a child has a strong will, just imagine what a strong will he will have for God. A child that has this drive and determination, the possibilities are endless. FDR was considered a strong willed child. Ted Bundy probably was too though. I'll settle for somewhere in the middle though.

The other thing is that I as a parent am not a failure just because I have a strong-willed child. I have a couple of other cookie cutter children that are low maintenance. And God does give me what I can handle.

The other issue with John is that not only is he a strong-willed child, he has sensory issues. He seeks sensory input. He craves bumping, jumping and motions. He runs full force into things and people. He smashes food, he does inappropriate things. But its all based on his neurological needs.

Its a fine balancing act.

If John doesn't want to do something, its stupid, stupid kid, stupid man, dumb and I hate you. He's three. Can you imagine the strings of curse words that he's going to throw down when he's ten? If I ignore him then he has won. If I confront him and have him sit on the stairs, his high chair,his room, he goes ballistic. If I put soap in his mouth or something else less tasty, he spits and spews and I do not even recognize him. These fits can last for long periods of time. How do I take care of the other kids when this is going on. Its not fair to them. But it would be a bigger injustice if I did not address it and nip this problem in the bud. Which according to Dr. Dobson could take years.

I don't have years left. I'd like to settle down, read a little more, relax, maybe make a few meals from scratch, take a shower everyday, sew, do a little surfing on the web...

Wow, this parenting stuff is really hard. I think good birth control would be to show teenagers and young adults videos of three year olds. Or just have them watch them for a day. It makes me think twice about bringing more children into the world.

And then there's me. I've been to the doctor twice this week. Two days in a row. I went to be Tuesday evening with a really sore toe. It was throbbing. Turns out I have a ganglion cyst or something to that effect. Basically, one of the kids stepped on my toe that night and probably ruptured it. I'm supposed to elevate, ice and where sandals (stiff ones). I'm not supposed to bend my toe so the joints don't get more aggravated or something like that. I don't know, I'm not a doctor, I've just spent a ton of time in their offices. As I was there I had the doctor look at the dimple at the bottom of my foot. It turned out to be a corn and he cut it out. And now it feels great. Then he looked at my elbow and I have tennis elbow and its been pretty painful. I think the kids caused this one due to me having to push, pull, carry, drag, resist, or put stress on my type of body.

So I had ice on three different areas of my body, have strengthening exercises for a couple of different areas.

Then today I went in for my knee. The inner part of my knee is very tender and every time I bend it, I have a lot of pain. Bending, sitting, going up stairs, etc... is really stressing it out. The doctor says I have Plica Syndrome which has to do when I was formed in my mothers womb and when the knee formed. I have a ridge in a tendon or disc or something that when it rubs on my kneecap becomes irritated and inflamed. So I got some prescription drugs and more exercises.

Better than going to therapy. The only kind I want right now is mental. I'd like a shot of sanity along with patience.