My passion, not The Passion

In 3rd grade, I discovered horse books. Then later, more books on animals, The Babysitters Club, Nancy Drew, Sweet Valley High Twins and Flowers in the Attic. Flowers in the Attic. I read that book a dozen times. It was dark and twisted and right up my alley. I read more of V.C. Andrews books and then read a bunch of Stephen King. Admittedly, King scared the pants off of me. I could never look at a clown again without thinking of It.

I've been an avid reader for 25+ years. I can read a good book again and again. I'm not much for non-fiction, but I will pick up a book now and again.

My New Years Resolution was to read a book a week or 25,000 pages. The year is about 2/3rds of the way over and I have read just over 9,000 pages and I have read 23 books. I'm disappointed that I probably will not meet my goal, but delighted that I started reading on a regular basis agan.

With the triplets entering Kindergarten this year, I'll have more time to finish up some projects that have been put off for 5+ years. I plan on painting a couple of rooms, organizing and purging, cleaning on a regular basis (even if regular means once a month), weekly small group meetings with members of St. Peter and maybe even getting a job.

Getting a part-time job that right for me and my family will probably be time-consuming. I'd like to be able to use the gifts and talents God has given me to reach others. Whether that be other church members or the unchurched. I'd like a job where I can make a difference. Maybe other people don't know it yet, but God does. I'm a tool.

Private - No Trespassing

I'm just going to say it. I'm not going to pussyfoot around the issue. I feel like you boys and girls are big enough to handle it. Whether you like it or not. Its something I've thought about and decided I need to do. At the end of August I will be taking my blog private.

For a couple of reasons. - Then I can tell stories about how Brooke confuses her body parts with the boys body parts without fear of someone creepy latching on to the story because they did a search for a male body party.

- I am thinking about going professional. With a job. A desk job. And I think that to make the best impression on everyone, I'll keep my personal life personal.

- Its trendy. More people are doing it.

- My real reason for starting this blog was to journal my kids life. And they do some pretty funny and hilarious things. And I say some pretty funny and outrageous things. If unoriginal and boring people stumble upon my blog, they just won't get it.

So, if you'd like to receive e-mails about current updates on my blog, put it in the comment section, facebook me, e-mail me...

The raggie

While I was tucking in the kids last night, I saw something that made me fall in love all over again.

Matthew was laying on his blanket and I pulled it out from under him to cover him up. When I did that he turned towards me and there was something underneath his pajama top. I looked under his shirt and there was his raggie. He was keeping it close to him. Awwwww. I just melted and fell in love with that special little boy all over again.

Jacob's birthday and Graduation Day

Jacob turned eight today. Eight. Eight years. Ocho anos. Where has the time gone? I think its gone pretty fast now that he's in school. I see him stretching out, getting leaner, looking more like his dad every day. Happy Birthday baby. I pray for many things for you. I wish you happiness, such deep happiness that you feel deep in your heart, in your being. I want you to pursue your dreams, but realize that they will not be handed to you and you have to work for them. I want you to pause and enjoy being a kid. You are never to old to play in the sandbox or play with Legos. But most of all. I hope that at every chance you get, you fill your cup with Jesus. "With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26

Now on to the trio. They got a diploma and graduated from preschool today. I even checked the authenticity of the papers. They are real. They are going to Kindergarten. God bless Mrs. M with patience, understanding and a good sense of humor because my babies are ready.

They all got their picture taken with their teacher, Mrs. P. All of them gave her hugs. Even though they are looking forward to Kindergarten, I know they will miss her. She was a very gentle and nurturing teacher. Kind of not like me. :)
Then they got their pictures taken with their chapel buddies. These are older kids, usually 7th and 8th graders who sit with the kids during chapel and show them how to act and behave. My kids love their chapel buddies. I hope the friendship continues for years.

In random thought, I realized that what parents do for a living really affects their children.

Do doctors kids have doctor's kits? Do teacher's kids play teacher? Do musician's kids have miniature instruments? Do stripper's kids have play poles? (I had to add that one) Do police officers kids have fake badges and guns?

For instance, with my husband being a police detective, they get to see their share of police cars, badges, policeman, guns, etc... They understand words such as "search warrant", "burglary", "lie-detector", "suspect". I am surprised that there is not more cops and robbers played here. They are more into power rangers and that kind of stuff. We don't have play guns in the house. I don't think thats even a possibility down the road. I realize that they can pretend anything is a gun, but I think its all too real.

Hodgepodge and Mother's Day thoughts

Nevermind it took 15 minutes to log in here. Its been five months since my last confession, er, blog. I've been blogging in my head and facebook. But frankly, I am just been lazy. And I feel for the guy named frank that the previous saying came from. Cause its not just a saying its also a name for a hot dog. And also for a common guy. Like if you don't remember someones name you can just say, "Hey, Frank! You wanna get the door?" And they know you are talking to them.

Back on track. Mother's Day. According to the great source of wikipedia, it was founded by a lady in 1870s. Woodrow Wilson made it a Hallmark Holiday in 1918 and now everyone remembers to call their mom on this day.

I received a cookbook from Jacob (made at school), I received some awesome handmade cards/pictures from the triplets (made at school) and then Jacob made me a paper plate card at home using his best cursive. I spent the day with my family eating a lunch at a supper club. Then took a 3 hour nap. Now THAT is a good Mother's Day. Love the nap.

I've been thinking about my life and what it takes to be a mother and smirking over those articles in the papers that kids write about their mothers. Did they write them willingly or did their moms put them up to it so that everyone else who reads that paper will know what a great mother they are?

I've decided not to go for the Mother of the Year award, ever. I won't be nominated because frankly, (it just flows so well... sorry anyone named Frank) I don't have the patience I should have, I favor the kids who let me sleep in, I don't cook as much as I should and I don't play with them as much as I should.

What am I doing during this time when I should be cooking or playing with them? I'm searching for my keys which mysteriously disappeared. I'm calling a tow truck and then trying to get a ride to the dealership to get new keys made while trying to figure out how to get four kids there and then get two vehicles home. Or, when I'm trying to make a home-made spaghetti sauce, I'm searching for for spoon rest that has mysteriously disappeared. Only to be found in the sandbox a few days later.

My patience is sorely lacking when I repeatedly find wrappers stuck under and in the couch when I say multiple times every day not to eat in the living room. I fantasize about the day when they'll understand that wrappers invite unwanted house guests and they throw them away. I really don't want six or eight legged creatures in the house.

I know the day will come when I only have to say things once and not repeatedly because they have become good listeners.

I live for the day that I can tell their girlfriends and wives about their escapades on creative peeing spots. The dryer, the front yard, the waste basket, the general area of the toilet. I will train them properly that their wives don't have to worry about seats being up, dribble around the toilet, etc...

I accept the fact that some of my children have inherited my sense of humor. Which is really funny to me, but may be childish, rude, or completely innappropriate in certain situations. Like in school, at church, when talking to adults.

So instead of having my kids write a bunch of untrue things about me, I'm going to write my Mother's Day wish for them.

I hope that someday you can look back and see that I tried to provide a home you felt safe in. That when I was discipling you or yelling at you, it was because I love you and want you to grow up learning right from wrong. I want you to learn that there are consequences to your actions. These actions can hurt yourself, other people and may not be following God's commandments.

I want you to know that I love it when you help me around the house. Its a great time for bonding while also learning how to clean and take care of our home.

I want you to think of others and how your actions affect them. I want you to think of Jesus and that He died for our sins. He loved us that much. I want you to show your love to others by treating them with respect, with kindness and being a light for this world.

I want you to remember all those times I took you to lessons or practices, or a road trip to something fun. All those things that took a lot of planning, money and patience.

I want you to remember the fun times. When I didn't feel like cooking so I threw out marshmellows on the table or I let you forage for yourself and some pretty interesting combinations are made. When we take a ride around the circle and you're all riding your big wheels. Or when we go to the park or Wild Air. When we're singing in the car some of our favorite songs. When we're on the couch and everyone has to pile on me. It can't get any better than that.

Be your own person, make your own path. But let God guide you. Enjoy your childhood because it goes way too fast.

Vacation to Chicago

Scott had bicep/rotator cuff surgery on December 1st. He's been off of work this month. So I had a great idea to take the kids to Chicago on christmas break. For a couple of different reasons. I think having family time is really important. When we take vacations in the past, its me driving the triplets to the destination and Jacob and Scott driving in another vehicle. Then usually Scott is doing his own thing (fishing) and I spend time with some or all of the kids. So family time, but not really family time.

I want to give my kids great memories of their childhood. Opportunities to learn, places that they have been, memories. Hopefully good memories.

So I planned this trip overnight to Chicago. We stayed at Embassy Suites, which was great because we had plenty of room to sleep and have the kids play. However, when I booked the room on priceline, I thought I booked a nonsmoking room. Yeah. Love the smell of stale smoke. But the hotel had free continental breakfast and we made sure we had our fill. There was a small pool and when I took the triplets swimming, it said 3 feet 2 inches. Well, the pool was deeper than that. It was almost over their heads. So they couldn't stand in the pool and had to be by the ladder or clinging to the edge.
Then as it got more crowded, six ghetto girls were horseplaying near us. Even though they could go anywhere in the pool, they had to be right on top of us. They kept bumping in to us. And the last thing I needed was one scared moment to set my children back in the pool. And then it happened. The girls were on each others backs and one bigger girl threw another bigger girl right into Matthew and knocked him into the water. And I went ghetto on her. I started yelling at her and she tried to walk away from me. Hehe. She didn't get away. I got in her face and told her to look around at who she just fell on. She had no comment. I told her that he was four years old and she needed to be careful around little ones. She had no comment. I asked if she understood me. She said yes and then I let her pass. They left the pool then to go sit in the whirlpool and stare at us. Of course they had no supervision.

So, the kids were pretty good on the way down to Chicago. We stopped at the Chicago O'Hare Oases and ate lunch there. It was really neat to see all the cars going right underneath us. Then we drove into the city and went to The Field Museum. Sue the T-rex was pretty interesting. But the kids were excited and Scott and I were tired. We didn't last long at that museum. I wish there had been more dinosaur related things there.

Then we walked to the Hard Rock Cafe and ate dinner. It was a nice walk in winter, but on the way back to the hotel, we decided to take a cab ride. The kids really enjoyed it. They always got excited when they saw a cab. Appleton has two or three cab companies, but seeing cab after cab was still exciting to them. Another exciting thing was looking for license plates. Jacob had this list made up of all the states and then checked off how many times we saw that license plate. I'm guessing we saw at least 20 states and 2 provinces.

The next day we got to the Shedd Aquarium bright and early and we actually stayed almost five hours. The kids loved the Caribbean reef and shark aquarium. We saw an aquatic show with dolphins, penguins and Beluga whales. It was very entertaining. But five hours wears on anyone, especially children. We were glad to leave. That is a place I'd love to visit again.

On the way home we did a detour to the Lego Store that took over an hour to get to. It was not like the Lego Store in Minneapolis. The trip home was quieter, but the kids were whiney and ready to be home.

There was some fighting and bickering. With two of the children kicking each other and one child doing a soccer kick to her brothers head. She got a time out for that. But overall, I think they had a good time.

I could use my own vacation now.

Its a hard job!

Sigh, double sigh. Since this summer, I've been battling with Jacob. He likes to argue with me. He contradicts almost everything I say. Even something as simple as "Jacob, go put your coat on." And he will stomp off or shout "NO!". He tells me he doesn't have to listen to me, he tells me I'm not the boss. He does recognize that Scott is the boss around the house. But the problem is that Scott isn't here 24/7.

I think some things are inherited, genetic. But how does he pick up the WELS belief from little on that fathers should be the head of the household and mothers are secondary?

I am not enjoying being his mother. I didn't expect us to have these battle of wills so early. I really feel disconnected with him. I don't feel like he's my buddy right now. And I'm guessing that he isn't going to be voting me for mother of the year. He has said a couple of times after these fights that no one loves him or no one likes him. I have explained to him that it is because I love him so much that I expect him to follow our rules. I gave him the example of God giving Moses the Ten Commandments to give to the Israelites.

He has also been giving Scott some attitude too. So, I feel better that its not just me, but I do wish he just realize he's got to be respectful and follow our rules.

I've done the Magic 1,2,3 thing, I've sent him to his room repeatedly, I have washed his mouth out with soap, I've taken away privileges, and now I told him that I would be taking away Christmas presents.

The other downside of this attitude is how he acts towards his siblings. He yells at them, is not patient with them and very bossy.

I know God will give me guidance through this, but I am really losing my patience.

Prayer

Did you ever see someone spiralling downwards and felt helpless? There are some people close to me that I see getting farther and farther away from God and it really hurts me. I've reached out a bit, put in my two cents and prayed. I don't want to be that pushy person that keeps throwing Jesus at them at every turn. I don't know if their hearts are open to Christ and I don't want to alienate them.

But I want them to know that they are loved. I want them to know that it hurts me to see them going down this path of sinfulness. This blatant disregard for God's commandments to fit in with their friends? because they don't feel like life is fair? because its easier?

We have this awesome God who knows we are sinful creatures and that as hard as we try, we cannot keep his commandments. He sent His son to die on the cross for our sins. What grace we have been given.

It may be uncomfortable to talk about, its hard to find the right words, but its necessary. I think we have all become numb to these sins. We see them on TV, in the movies, in magazines and books, they are in our environment.

I hope that my friends or family would reach out to me if I was not living in accordance with God's commands.

I have realized how important church is to me, how supportive my Christian friends can be, what a tool the Bible is, and how wonderful prayer can make me feel.

I pray that God continues to mold me into the person He wants me to be so that I can model that behavior to others.

Matthew 5:16
In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Psalm 27

Of David.

1The Lord is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?
2When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh,a
when my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
3Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will I be confident
4One thing I ask of the Lord,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to seek him in his temple.
5For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.
6Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the Lord.

Please pray for those in your life that need to open their hearts to God.

Heavens on Fire

Did you ever hear a song and have a picture pop into your head? I was in the car - without my IPOD - listening to the radio and Heavens on Fire by Kiss came on. Immediately I saw some poor fellow in the elevator on his way down to hell. Didn't repent before he died and was thinking that this elevator with red lights, chrome interior wasn't so bad. Tapping his foot to the music, he starts to sing, "Baby don't stop, take it to the top, eat it like a piece of cake. Feel my heat, taking you higher, burn with me, heavens on fire!"

He pictures orgies and other dark images and when the doors open he is blasted with ... not sure. Haven't come up with the perfect song to describe hell. I'm thinking Fade to Black or One by Metallica. (Of course I couldn't resist a Metallica plug) How can one describe something that is so utterly and horrible miserable? Probably a country song. I'll post it when I hear it though.

My Pet PEE(ve).

Dear future wives of my sons:

I want you to know that I am doing everything in my power to raise kind, compassionate leaders of the world. I will teach them to be humble, to open doors, to clean the dishes off the table, to pick up their rooms. But most importantly, they will be set apart from other young men. Because they will always pee sitting down. Under NO circumstances in my house are they allowed to stand and pee because it creates a mess and I AM SICK OF CLEANING IT UP. If I could catch one of the buggers at it, I'd make them clean it up. If I fail you in this mission, I can assure you of one thing. They will know how to clean a bathroom until it sparkles, because since I can't push their face in it like dogs, I will make them take Q-tips and clean the damn bathroom.

Your loving future-mother-in-law,

Jean

My Mission Statement

What??? Two posts in one day? Crazy!
"I got something to say, I r*ped your mother today, doesn't matter much to me as long as ..." (Had to though with a Metallica quote).

And totally unrelated to that is that I've been thinking about writing a mission statement. That I can live by, that defines who I am and who I want to be. Then, in a sermon, Pastor Ski from www.gotocore.com stole my thunder when he said he wrote his own personal mission statement about his faith and God. O.K. he probably prompted me to get my butt in gear and get 'er dun. (Bad grammar a part of the story)

My Mission Statement.

Let God's light within me shine.

By leading from example, helping others, living by the Golden Rule*.

As a parent I will raise nurturing, loving and independent children who will pay it forward.

As a spouse I will be loving and supportive.

Thats all I got so far. I want it to be simple and to the point. But I can get kinda long-winded, so I may just be done.

If you are reading this blog, write your own mission statement! If you feel bold, share it, if its more personal, keep it to yourself, but just live by it.

* Treat others as you would like to be treated

A dirty word...

Sometimes I use the word Triplets when talking about my kids, but I feel uncomfortable using that word. Even after almost 5 years of saying it. I'll say babies (which I've been told I shouldn't say anymore), the little ones, the little kids, the preschoolers, the monkeys, anything but the word Triplets.

I feel like when I say "triplets" I'm bragging or drawing attention to myself or them. Because that word turns heads. Its saying I won the lottery, in a family sense. It also labels them. Groups them into whatever stereotype people put on triplets or multiples.

Sometimes I still feel shocked. I'll be doing something, look at them, and say to myself, "I have triplets!" Holy baloney Batman! God sure knows what he's doing and we're not supposed to question him... but triplets? for me? What a gift. I am humbled.

Preschool

Create your own digital greeting card

Another Chapter

I'm reminded of a song by Staind called, "Its been awhile" or at least those are part of the lyrics.

I've been lazy, I kept procastinating. Things happened and I thought, I should blog this, but I'll just put it on Facebook.

Tomorrow is a big day. The triplets start preschool. I have been waiting for this day, probably since the week we brought them home from the hospital. They need the structure, they need the interaction, they need to learn to listen, to play well with others, to go to the bathroom on their own. I need the two hour break just to be a better mom. And the biggest plus is that I can run errands on my own without having to ask family or friends to watch them. Even though I know they love them, I always feel like I'm asking a favor, or I'm inconveniencing them.

I've been dreading this day too because it means I'm not just a stay-at-home mom with little children, I'm an in-betweener. I've got all my kids in school, but not full-time. It means I run back and forth to school several times a day to drop off, pick up, and pick up again. It means I get four backbacks ready each day. I have to make sure that everyone eats before they get to school because we can't just come home and eat breakfast later. Shoes need to match, or at least be on the right feet. Books need to be read, folders need to be checked, all times four.

While I've fantasized about this day for quite awhile, I've also repressed the memories of dropping Jacob of for preschool. Its a time you can never get back, them being at home with you all day. It means that happy hour really does start after 3 p.m. and not anytime you feel like it.

February blues

Dear Diary,

I've neglected you. I don't seem to ever have time for you anymore. Its Facebook. Its addicting. And I can easily remember how to sign on whereas I keep forgetting my username on blogger. I'm not blaming you, well, actually I am.

I just keep clicking my heels, saying to myself, "there's no place like summer, there's no place like summer..." But actually we could compromise and just have Spring.

I took the kids outside today and while it took 15 minutes to go to the bathroom, get snowpants, snowboots, hats, mittens and coats on, it took only five minutes of Brooke getting a facewash to end her day. Then Matthew kept wandering in the house looking for constuction toys to bring outside. And I kept yelling at him because I didn't want snow and dirty snow all over the house. But the boys did have a blast outside, although I thought they'd go go bed without a fight. But they didn't.

Speaking of that, bedtime is a nightmare. I've never had a problem with the kids going to bed. Sure, there are a couple of days in a row that they mess around and don't fall asleep. But then they go back to going to bed and falling asleep soon after.

For the past three to four weeks, Matthew and John have resisted bedtime. I could put them to bed later, but I think they really need the rest. O.K. I really need the rest from them. But at 7 p.m. or 7:30 p.m. without naps, its time for bed. Matthew and John want to sleep in the bottom bunk bed. For a few nights I've allowed them to sleep together, but they disturb each others sleep.
Tonight I took away Johns blankets after he threw them and he got a few spankings because he'd be running around the room, upstairs, bugging matthew, turning lights on and off and just being loud. Matthew is a follower, so he just get riled up then. I finally scared Matthew enough that he'd stay in bed and luckily Scott came home to yell at John, or he probably would have been tied to a chair.

A shortfall

I cannot believe that I am blogging three days in a row. But I had nothing short of an epiphany today.

As the kids and I were watching this Heroes of the Bible story about Jesus's birth, I realized that I wasn't doing my job in raising them in a Christ-centered environment.

I think I'm still in survival mode. They get fed, they have clean clothing, I read to them, sometimes I play with them, I take them to swimming lessons and other activities. But at a cost to my own being. Its not always fun, its usually stressful, but its necessary.

I realized the triplets had not been to church since the middle of October. Or at least thats what I last remember. I have been to church several times with Jacob, but I don't take them. Its too much work, I don't have enough hands, and I don't hear the sermon at all.

Things need to change. Christ is the center of my life (or should be) and it should be theirs also. I need to take the time to take them to church, sing songs with them, go to sunday school. Now that they are mostly potty-trained I can sign them up for Sunday school. They'll get the interaction they need with other kids and learn about Christ.

For a good cause...

My friend Michelle is having an auction. She's adopting a daughter, Lily, from Eastern Europe. Lily is a twin who was given up at birth because she has down syndrome.

Michelle and her husband Brian have three children. Karly is 14 and two years ago was diagnosed with a rare form of ovarian cancer and is now cancer free. Braden is in Kindergarten this year and their youngest is Ruby who is 2 1/2. Ruby is a twin. With no words to describe the situation, Lydia was stillborn at 38 weeks. Ruby and Lydia are identical twins and have down syndrome.

Michelle and Brian have opened their hearts and home to another child and I hope that you can support them emotionally and maybe even donate to their cause. Keep Lily and her new family in your prayers.

ahomeforlily.blogspot.com

Is it done yet?

Where has the time gone? There are a few reasons why I haven't updated the blog. 1) Facebook. Much easier and quicker. You can put a one or two liner on and be done with it. 2) Projects - I've been sewing a bunch and also working on library stuff for Jacob's school. 3) this one is important, I've been lazy.

I think of things, but don't take the time.

For instance, I'm not sure anyone really wants to hear the ins and outs of potty-training. Its not fun, its TMI and really that's what consumes my time. I spend hours with Matthew on the toilet coaxing him to poop. I feel like a labor coach. I actually think I could deliver a baby now with my experience and advice on getting the kids to poop. Poop. Whoever thought I'd be actually blogging about it. But I think that the kids are doing really well and are probably 80-90% potty-trained. Hopefully by Christmas there will be no more accidents.

Secondly, the boys needed something else to sleep on besides their crib mattresses. We got them low rise loft bunk beds. The beds are perpendicular and John sleeps on top and Matthew actually sleeps at the foot of his own bed on the bottom. Why John on top? He doesn't move at all when he sleeps and has a really good compass when it comes to where he is and how to get around at night. On the other hand, Matthew falls off his crib mattress several times a night. I don't think he's fallen out of his bed though. But he still does cry out a lot. Not sure why.

So tonight at the football game is on, I heard whining/crying. I went up to find John laying on top of Matthew, half asleep, crying. I don't know if he tried getting off the side of the bed and fell on Matthew. But Matthew didn't notice a thing and John was crying. It was really funny and disturbing at the same time.

Fall Pictures III

Fall Pictures II