Its a hard job!

Sigh, double sigh. Since this summer, I've been battling with Jacob. He likes to argue with me. He contradicts almost everything I say. Even something as simple as "Jacob, go put your coat on." And he will stomp off or shout "NO!". He tells me he doesn't have to listen to me, he tells me I'm not the boss. He does recognize that Scott is the boss around the house. But the problem is that Scott isn't here 24/7.

I think some things are inherited, genetic. But how does he pick up the WELS belief from little on that fathers should be the head of the household and mothers are secondary?

I am not enjoying being his mother. I didn't expect us to have these battle of wills so early. I really feel disconnected with him. I don't feel like he's my buddy right now. And I'm guessing that he isn't going to be voting me for mother of the year. He has said a couple of times after these fights that no one loves him or no one likes him. I have explained to him that it is because I love him so much that I expect him to follow our rules. I gave him the example of God giving Moses the Ten Commandments to give to the Israelites.

He has also been giving Scott some attitude too. So, I feel better that its not just me, but I do wish he just realize he's got to be respectful and follow our rules.

I've done the Magic 1,2,3 thing, I've sent him to his room repeatedly, I have washed his mouth out with soap, I've taken away privileges, and now I told him that I would be taking away Christmas presents.

The other downside of this attitude is how he acts towards his siblings. He yells at them, is not patient with them and very bossy.

I know God will give me guidance through this, but I am really losing my patience.

Prayer

Did you ever see someone spiralling downwards and felt helpless? There are some people close to me that I see getting farther and farther away from God and it really hurts me. I've reached out a bit, put in my two cents and prayed. I don't want to be that pushy person that keeps throwing Jesus at them at every turn. I don't know if their hearts are open to Christ and I don't want to alienate them.

But I want them to know that they are loved. I want them to know that it hurts me to see them going down this path of sinfulness. This blatant disregard for God's commandments to fit in with their friends? because they don't feel like life is fair? because its easier?

We have this awesome God who knows we are sinful creatures and that as hard as we try, we cannot keep his commandments. He sent His son to die on the cross for our sins. What grace we have been given.

It may be uncomfortable to talk about, its hard to find the right words, but its necessary. I think we have all become numb to these sins. We see them on TV, in the movies, in magazines and books, they are in our environment.

I hope that my friends or family would reach out to me if I was not living in accordance with God's commands.

I have realized how important church is to me, how supportive my Christian friends can be, what a tool the Bible is, and how wonderful prayer can make me feel.

I pray that God continues to mold me into the person He wants me to be so that I can model that behavior to others.

Matthew 5:16
In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Psalm 27

Of David.

1The Lord is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?
2When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh,a
when my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
3Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will I be confident
4One thing I ask of the Lord,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to seek him in his temple.
5For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.
6Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the Lord.

Please pray for those in your life that need to open their hearts to God.

Heavens on Fire

Did you ever hear a song and have a picture pop into your head? I was in the car - without my IPOD - listening to the radio and Heavens on Fire by Kiss came on. Immediately I saw some poor fellow in the elevator on his way down to hell. Didn't repent before he died and was thinking that this elevator with red lights, chrome interior wasn't so bad. Tapping his foot to the music, he starts to sing, "Baby don't stop, take it to the top, eat it like a piece of cake. Feel my heat, taking you higher, burn with me, heavens on fire!"

He pictures orgies and other dark images and when the doors open he is blasted with ... not sure. Haven't come up with the perfect song to describe hell. I'm thinking Fade to Black or One by Metallica. (Of course I couldn't resist a Metallica plug) How can one describe something that is so utterly and horrible miserable? Probably a country song. I'll post it when I hear it though.

My Pet PEE(ve).

Dear future wives of my sons:

I want you to know that I am doing everything in my power to raise kind, compassionate leaders of the world. I will teach them to be humble, to open doors, to clean the dishes off the table, to pick up their rooms. But most importantly, they will be set apart from other young men. Because they will always pee sitting down. Under NO circumstances in my house are they allowed to stand and pee because it creates a mess and I AM SICK OF CLEANING IT UP. If I could catch one of the buggers at it, I'd make them clean it up. If I fail you in this mission, I can assure you of one thing. They will know how to clean a bathroom until it sparkles, because since I can't push their face in it like dogs, I will make them take Q-tips and clean the damn bathroom.

Your loving future-mother-in-law,

Jean

My Mission Statement

What??? Two posts in one day? Crazy!
"I got something to say, I r*ped your mother today, doesn't matter much to me as long as ..." (Had to though with a Metallica quote).

And totally unrelated to that is that I've been thinking about writing a mission statement. That I can live by, that defines who I am and who I want to be. Then, in a sermon, Pastor Ski from www.gotocore.com stole my thunder when he said he wrote his own personal mission statement about his faith and God. O.K. he probably prompted me to get my butt in gear and get 'er dun. (Bad grammar a part of the story)

My Mission Statement.

Let God's light within me shine.

By leading from example, helping others, living by the Golden Rule*.

As a parent I will raise nurturing, loving and independent children who will pay it forward.

As a spouse I will be loving and supportive.

Thats all I got so far. I want it to be simple and to the point. But I can get kinda long-winded, so I may just be done.

If you are reading this blog, write your own mission statement! If you feel bold, share it, if its more personal, keep it to yourself, but just live by it.

* Treat others as you would like to be treated

A dirty word...

Sometimes I use the word Triplets when talking about my kids, but I feel uncomfortable using that word. Even after almost 5 years of saying it. I'll say babies (which I've been told I shouldn't say anymore), the little ones, the little kids, the preschoolers, the monkeys, anything but the word Triplets.

I feel like when I say "triplets" I'm bragging or drawing attention to myself or them. Because that word turns heads. Its saying I won the lottery, in a family sense. It also labels them. Groups them into whatever stereotype people put on triplets or multiples.

Sometimes I still feel shocked. I'll be doing something, look at them, and say to myself, "I have triplets!" Holy baloney Batman! God sure knows what he's doing and we're not supposed to question him... but triplets? for me? What a gift. I am humbled.

Preschool

Create your own digital greeting card

Another Chapter

I'm reminded of a song by Staind called, "Its been awhile" or at least those are part of the lyrics.

I've been lazy, I kept procastinating. Things happened and I thought, I should blog this, but I'll just put it on Facebook.

Tomorrow is a big day. The triplets start preschool. I have been waiting for this day, probably since the week we brought them home from the hospital. They need the structure, they need the interaction, they need to learn to listen, to play well with others, to go to the bathroom on their own. I need the two hour break just to be a better mom. And the biggest plus is that I can run errands on my own without having to ask family or friends to watch them. Even though I know they love them, I always feel like I'm asking a favor, or I'm inconveniencing them.

I've been dreading this day too because it means I'm not just a stay-at-home mom with little children, I'm an in-betweener. I've got all my kids in school, but not full-time. It means I run back and forth to school several times a day to drop off, pick up, and pick up again. It means I get four backbacks ready each day. I have to make sure that everyone eats before they get to school because we can't just come home and eat breakfast later. Shoes need to match, or at least be on the right feet. Books need to be read, folders need to be checked, all times four.

While I've fantasized about this day for quite awhile, I've also repressed the memories of dropping Jacob of for preschool. Its a time you can never get back, them being at home with you all day. It means that happy hour really does start after 3 p.m. and not anytime you feel like it.

February blues

Dear Diary,

I've neglected you. I don't seem to ever have time for you anymore. Its Facebook. Its addicting. And I can easily remember how to sign on whereas I keep forgetting my username on blogger. I'm not blaming you, well, actually I am.

I just keep clicking my heels, saying to myself, "there's no place like summer, there's no place like summer..." But actually we could compromise and just have Spring.

I took the kids outside today and while it took 15 minutes to go to the bathroom, get snowpants, snowboots, hats, mittens and coats on, it took only five minutes of Brooke getting a facewash to end her day. Then Matthew kept wandering in the house looking for constuction toys to bring outside. And I kept yelling at him because I didn't want snow and dirty snow all over the house. But the boys did have a blast outside, although I thought they'd go go bed without a fight. But they didn't.

Speaking of that, bedtime is a nightmare. I've never had a problem with the kids going to bed. Sure, there are a couple of days in a row that they mess around and don't fall asleep. But then they go back to going to bed and falling asleep soon after.

For the past three to four weeks, Matthew and John have resisted bedtime. I could put them to bed later, but I think they really need the rest. O.K. I really need the rest from them. But at 7 p.m. or 7:30 p.m. without naps, its time for bed. Matthew and John want to sleep in the bottom bunk bed. For a few nights I've allowed them to sleep together, but they disturb each others sleep.
Tonight I took away Johns blankets after he threw them and he got a few spankings because he'd be running around the room, upstairs, bugging matthew, turning lights on and off and just being loud. Matthew is a follower, so he just get riled up then. I finally scared Matthew enough that he'd stay in bed and luckily Scott came home to yell at John, or he probably would have been tied to a chair.

A shortfall

I cannot believe that I am blogging three days in a row. But I had nothing short of an epiphany today.

As the kids and I were watching this Heroes of the Bible story about Jesus's birth, I realized that I wasn't doing my job in raising them in a Christ-centered environment.

I think I'm still in survival mode. They get fed, they have clean clothing, I read to them, sometimes I play with them, I take them to swimming lessons and other activities. But at a cost to my own being. Its not always fun, its usually stressful, but its necessary.

I realized the triplets had not been to church since the middle of October. Or at least thats what I last remember. I have been to church several times with Jacob, but I don't take them. Its too much work, I don't have enough hands, and I don't hear the sermon at all.

Things need to change. Christ is the center of my life (or should be) and it should be theirs also. I need to take the time to take them to church, sing songs with them, go to sunday school. Now that they are mostly potty-trained I can sign them up for Sunday school. They'll get the interaction they need with other kids and learn about Christ.

For a good cause...

My friend Michelle is having an auction. She's adopting a daughter, Lily, from Eastern Europe. Lily is a twin who was given up at birth because she has down syndrome.

Michelle and her husband Brian have three children. Karly is 14 and two years ago was diagnosed with a rare form of ovarian cancer and is now cancer free. Braden is in Kindergarten this year and their youngest is Ruby who is 2 1/2. Ruby is a twin. With no words to describe the situation, Lydia was stillborn at 38 weeks. Ruby and Lydia are identical twins and have down syndrome.

Michelle and Brian have opened their hearts and home to another child and I hope that you can support them emotionally and maybe even donate to their cause. Keep Lily and her new family in your prayers.

ahomeforlily.blogspot.com

Is it done yet?

Where has the time gone? There are a few reasons why I haven't updated the blog. 1) Facebook. Much easier and quicker. You can put a one or two liner on and be done with it. 2) Projects - I've been sewing a bunch and also working on library stuff for Jacob's school. 3) this one is important, I've been lazy.

I think of things, but don't take the time.

For instance, I'm not sure anyone really wants to hear the ins and outs of potty-training. Its not fun, its TMI and really that's what consumes my time. I spend hours with Matthew on the toilet coaxing him to poop. I feel like a labor coach. I actually think I could deliver a baby now with my experience and advice on getting the kids to poop. Poop. Whoever thought I'd be actually blogging about it. But I think that the kids are doing really well and are probably 80-90% potty-trained. Hopefully by Christmas there will be no more accidents.

Secondly, the boys needed something else to sleep on besides their crib mattresses. We got them low rise loft bunk beds. The beds are perpendicular and John sleeps on top and Matthew actually sleeps at the foot of his own bed on the bottom. Why John on top? He doesn't move at all when he sleeps and has a really good compass when it comes to where he is and how to get around at night. On the other hand, Matthew falls off his crib mattress several times a night. I don't think he's fallen out of his bed though. But he still does cry out a lot. Not sure why.

So tonight at the football game is on, I heard whining/crying. I went up to find John laying on top of Matthew, half asleep, crying. I don't know if he tried getting off the side of the bed and fell on Matthew. But Matthew didn't notice a thing and John was crying. It was really funny and disturbing at the same time.

Fall Pictures III

Fall Pictures II

Fall Pictures

Jacob's school is closed due to sickness. So we had some fun outside instead.

Chchchanges

I just keep putting this off. Well, because I'm a facebook fanatic now. And I usually blow off my steam on there.
Updates:
Since September 3rd I have been sick. It started out with a migraine, then pneumonia for three weeks which immediately followed by a sinus infection. Can I catch a break? I'm just hoping I'll get all this over and have a happy and healthy winter. One can only hope.

The kids got a cough in mid september and Brooke has not shaken it yet. Jacob had it too and on Sunday he came down with a fever. Due to the heightened awareness of the flu virus and H1N1, many schools are taking a lot of precautions. Like sending out notices about having kids in with fevers. A big no-no.
So I kept him home monday and he was acting like normal, except for a little bit on the quiet side. Last night he climbed into bed with me and he had a fever. I gave him medicine and he was fine and spunky. So I sent him to school. He fell asleep when he got home for about two hours. Then he threw up the yogurt I gave him. I think it was due to him not wanting to eat it and my policy of "you'll eat if and I don't care if you vomit it up." But with him falling asleep and having a slight fever tonight, I'll keep him home tomorrow.

And speaking of being sick of things, I need a good night's sleep without kids coming in and out of the bed all night. Mostly I've put up with it because they don't feel well and I think its just my maternal duty to cuddle with them a bit more. Sometimes I take them back to their beds and just lay with them. But their beds are very small so its not very comfortable.

I have seriously considered drugging them so that they sleep 8-10 hours or more and not get me up at 2 and 3 in the morning. I'm hoping for a peaceful sleep without children tonight.

Jacob seems to be liking school. He really has taken off with reading and I'll read books to him too. He can memorize really easily. Makes my job easier. But we have at least 1/2 hour of home work each night plus any additional reading.

I dread when the triplets get to school and trying to manage all of this. I know by then I'll have come up with a system, but its just overwhelming. I guess that should be a little lesson reminder to me to just take one day at a time. Maybe it will be easier teaching three kids at once. I'm glad that they will be in the same classroom. Makes it easier on me and less confusing.

Potty training is going really really well. Its just getting them to poop in the toilet. They still hide on me and its doesn't seem like incentives are working for this one. Maybe they are afraid, maybe they don't want to give up control, maybe they realize its one step towards independence.
I'm not putting them in underwear because we just got a new couch and I really don't want to be cleaning that over and over again.

What is really nice is that I bought diapers in the beginning of September (176 of them) and we still have over 1/2 left. I bought a small pack of girl pullups and a big pack of boy pull ups in 6 weeks. I need more pullups now, but the nice things is that I've probably spent $80 in the last 6 weeks versus spending $200 in that amount of time.

School's in session

Its been nearly a month since I last blogged. A couple of different reasons. I forgot my login and password and got sick of guessing. And secondly I've been sick for two weeks.

New stuff in the Callaway household... POTTYTRAINING

I started about two weeks ago with all three children. I didn't want to do all three at once, but I wasn't having much luck with Brooke on her own.

So I got about $50 worth of little toys, stickers and a reward chart and gave them stickers every time they tried to go potty. It only took a few days for the boys to catch on. Matthew is even dry at night about 1/2 the time. John is probably the most ready for underwear now, but can be just stubborn.

Brooke is another story. It took her a very long time to figure out how to use her muscles to go potty. She does have a few accidents during the day, but has done really well with improving how many times she goes potty. I don't think she's ready for underwear just yet.

The only problem is that the kids are potty-trained, not poop-trained. I think if I can catch them a couple of times trying to hide to go in their pull-ups, I can get them to go on the toilet.

Jacob started school two weeks ago. He doesn't really want to go to school. He's still got his shy problems from last year. He doesn't want to make a mistake. And then there is the whole, "they already have friends and I don't want to ask them to play with me" thing. I just wish he could make one or two friends instead of wandering around at recess by himself. It breaks my heart.
He's doing very well academically though. I was surprised to find him reading a level 1 book all by himself.

Matthew started Early Childhood two weeks ago. He's a good role model in the class as there are new boys in his 3 year old class. He even asks to go potty at school.

John started his speech class today. His teacher said he is doing so wonderfully and must have had a growth spurt in his speech over the summer.

The other thing we are doing is going to "school" otherwise known as library time at the Neenah Public Library on tuesdays when Matthew is in school. Its for 3,4, and 5 year olds without a caregiver. The key word is "without". John wouldn't let me leave him so I sat through story time, dance time and puppet time.

Tranvestite in the making????

The old saying, a picture is worth a 1000 words applies here.

The hangover

And boy do I have one. Las Vegas was tiring. I think I'm still recovering.

I had suppressed my known fear of flying until I got on the airplane. Not sure why I don't like flying. Lack of control, fear of heights, smell of stale urine, who knows.

But the fun started when we got to our rental car and tried to leave the security area and they gave us the wrong car, so in the 100 degree heat at midnight we figured it out with the nice but clueless Budget people.

We stayed at Circus Circus and it hadn't changed in the five years that we had been there last. Same gaudy decorations, but the rooms are nice and comfortable. Basically we gambled a lot, did a little bit of sightseeing and not much sleep. I think our highlight was seeing Red Rock Canyon. Very pretty area. Very different from the green vegetation around here. I love the Red Rock Canyon Casino too. Very nice place.

The last night we went downtown and boy has it gotten seedy. I cannot believe how many children are out at all times of the night for one thing. Las Vegas is not a place for children. Or at least children you want to keep from seeing the darker side of life. Anyway, as we walk down Fremont street I look into a casino and see a girl pole dancing around blackjack tables. We go into Binions to play poker and when we come out the same thing is happening there too. Come on.

This whole thing got brought up at the Poker table. I was sitting next to the dealer and he leaned to me and said, "They have places around here that men dance too." I wrinkled my nose up and said, "that's not for me" or something to that effect. It was like the dealer was talking about a favorite blanket or teddy bear. He whispered to me, "oh, I just love watching men dance." And I got the hebbiegebbies. And then I realized I wasn't in Kansas anymore. It wasn't so much that he was gay, it was more about the tone of voice and how he described it. I didn't have to guess where my tips were going...

And that basically sums up my trip. I like living in an area where there isn't advertisements for sex being blown around, parents respect children's nap times and bedtimes, respect for ourselves and others is predominant. All those good things that make Appleton a great place to raise a family.

Going to Vegas...

Alrighty then. I am super-dooper excited. I am also ultra-uber nervous. Scott, my parents and I are flying to Vegas tomorrow night and stay until Sunday. I am a quiet nervous flyer. Having nightmares that the plane will go down and my children will be left without parents. On the other hand I'd be in Heaven right? I'm pretty sure I would be except for the gossiping part. The 11th commandment would be - Thou Shall Not Gossip. So I'll take that up with God tonight when I pray.

So if something would happen to me, a freak accident, I die peacefully in my sleep or the Boogeyman gets me - this is my last and only Will and Testament.

I, Jean Marie Plamann Callaway, being of somewhat sound mind and body, would like my family and loved ones know that I'm in a better place, don't mourn for me, celebrate my life.

My life has been consumed by my children, which are most precious. God has been gracious by giving me four children and I or my husband are no longer able to take care of them, I would like them to grow up knowing God and be living examples. (So that narrows down a bunch of people ;). Just kidding.)

I would like my children to be raised by my sister-in-law Amy Elizabeth Wichman Plamann and my brother James Walter Plamann. They will take care of my children and Jim can be executors of our estate (or whatever is not in debt). I would like my children to get a christian education and be good citizens of this earth.

Secondarily, my cat Cosmo is very dear to me. I don't want her put in a shelter or given away to strangers. There are a short list of people I think would take her in, Amy & Jim Plamann, Mike & Kathy Callaway or Fred & Arlyne Plamann. Please take care of my kitty.

My living will has been established and is with my doctor and a copy is at Theda Clark in Neenah.

Jean Callaway

Now, I haven't written a will before, but it would look like this. I was afraid to do it because I wasn't so sure that Amy and Jim would want to take my kids in if I asked them, but if I'm dead I figure they'd follow my wishes.

I'll really miss my kids, but I know I'll come back a refreshed better mother. And hopefully with more money in my pocket than I went with.